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Sunday, 16 September 2012

From the beginning of my life part 3

So my mom let me and my child stay with her until I found a apt and which didn't take long, so I was on my own and doing pretty good I am not gonna say it was easy but I was making it, I had two jobs and after awhile I started dating and thinking about going back to school to be a nurse so I met a ambulance driver and he suggested a school where they would pay for day care which was great, so him and I became really close friends and he helped with my study's His name was Kevin Jack Jeffries, and I really started to trust him and care for him so we began to date and become real close so close he asked me to marry him which I was a little to gun shy at that time.

So we just dated for a few years and then I needed to break this relationship off because he deserved someone who did want to be his wife and that was the only right thing to do, to my surprize my friends and I went out for the night and I met a real nice guy and we spent most of the night dancing oh did I love to dance and after that it was getting late and I had to get some sleep for work in the morning so he asked for my phone number which of course I was still a little shy about it but I gave it to him and he called every nite and kept asking me out so I finally gave in and I thought he was so sweet, we dated for about six months and then we went to ohio to get married then we went back to our apt for a small reception and all of a sudden these two black men came in because we had the door open waiting on a few more people to show up.

there was only three people there at that time but these two men looked at my brand new husband and said you know were not here to just beat you and I was in shock for one I had no idea who they were and what was going on so out of reaction as soon as i seen one of them had a gun on his side and they pulled out bats I grabbed there arms well there coats and then my new husband ran like hell out the back door and one ran after him and the second one stayed there and said one thing to me since we can't do what we came here to do you will do?? it had to be a good half hour he beat me with that damn bat and then his friend came back cuz he couldn't find my husband and they were both beating me with them bats and I remember saying your gonna kill me and they had no reaction to that, and after watching all the blood all over the ceiling I knew I wasn't gonna make it and I tried blocking the bats with my hands which they were so broke I couldn't feel them, and my teen daughter was outside screaming cuz she could hear her mom getting beat, then something busted the window where i was setting or feel in?? but it scared them so they hit me a few more times then they left, I crawled to the window and said someone call 911 and I heard my daughter say ma I have been and the door is locked I can't get to you, if I could change one thing it would be that my daughter wasn't there, but I found out was it was all over my husband was on drugs and I had no idea and thats not the worse he robbed a drug house, so I am very very lucky to be alive today, part 4 coming up tomorrow.

Tuesday, 4 September 2012

links from the news ex to my story

Ok people are asking for links to my true life story yea some people think its to un real well God I wished it was (tears) so here are a few links

my late hubby died 2 months before our fatal housefire he wasn't even sick he had a blood clot in his lung and he came home from getting my bp meds and told me to call a ambulance that he was dying and by the time they got there he died in my arms which will all be in my book & blogs.

Our fatal housefire 2 months later that claimed 4 of my in laws that were my family and I loved them to pieces and yes 2 of them were my nephews 3 and 6 and soon as I figure out how to put up pics I will, im just upset that I have to put these up because some people don't believe all of this could happen to one person grrrr,

my missing mom who I have been serching for 4 years,

so there ya go you cold hearted couple of people and for the most of you your wonderful people and God bless you all.

Monday, 3 September 2012

what do I do??

I can't take it no longer I have been fighting all my life to stay alive with my health, surgery after surgery since I was beaten at age 28 on my wedding nite of all Nite's?? but that's a long story in it's self but I was beat so bad by two men that were after my new husband at the time and he ran and i was left there and guess who took the beating with the bats yea me, I spent several weeks in the hospital then diagnosed with  pseudotumor cerebri , then they told me I would have to under go several surgeries which turned into 37 so far 28 lp shunts and 9 vp shunts in my brain and they said I would be in so much pain for the rest of my life and omg they were not kidding, I joined a support group and there was one lady worse off then me she had 54 surgeries and finally stroked out and died from the pain and that's the biggest fear I have because I have already had 3 strokes and I know if this much pain continues  it wont be long at all, so I am tore between the love of my life or this damn pain and now they said my neck is in need of surgery at c56 and c67 plus I have level 5 nerve damage due to over 300 spinal taps to relieve the pressure off of my brain, the doctors in the states know my history and they know if I am not in pain I don't go see them but if I am hurting they don't treat me like a damn addict, what is wrong with wanting to have a life and live a pain free life which I will never be pain free but at least half of it gone, and I don't want a doctor that gives me advice to go to the hospital and tell them I am gonna kill myself , I wished I wouldn't have listened to my counsler and switched doctors so that part is my fault she just thought it would be better for me and my hubby to have different doctors oh God why did I listen?? what do I do?? God I wished I knew, but I am so tired of my heart being broke so I can hope I can see a doctor tomorrow and they can adjust my meds and this healing I do believe it will help me but in the meanwhile how do I live like this, someone please tell me?? what do I do??